According to the premise of the new Jim Carrey film, “The Number 23,” the number in its title can be found everywhere we look and, as the movie suggests, compounded in some sort of sinister mysticism that drives the accidental numerologist to unspeakable acts and eventual suicide.

Don’t believe me? Take for instance the year of Jim Carrey’s first Hollywood hit. “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.” It was released in 1994 and 1 + 9 + 9 + 4 = 23. Also, consider the letters in Jim Carrey’s and “The Number 23” director Joel Schumacher’s (“The Phantom of the Opera”) names combine to make 23 letters.

Oh, it doesn’t end there my friends.

Utah State University, right here in Logan, Utah, was founded in 1859 and 1 + 8 + 5 + 9 = 23. Utah Jazz legend Karl Malone was drafted in 1985. That’s right. It adds up to 23. Michael Jordan, who robbed the Jazz of two NBA championship trophies, wore number 23. Steve Young was the 23^rd All-American from BYU. The Salt Lake City International Airport is the 23^rd largest airport in the United States. Fry Sauce was invented in Utah in 1949. Yep, add it up, 23. There are 23 letters in the Latin alphabet. Psalm 23 in the Holy Bible is probably the most quoted verse of scripture (“The Lord is my shepherd…”). In “Star Wars: A New Hope,” Princess Leia is held in detention block AA-23 aboard the Death Star. Dr. Pepper is said to be comprised of 23 different flavors. George Herbert Walker Bush contains 23 letters.

On and on it goes, the number 23 is everywhere.

Creepy, right?

Wrong, unless you like 90 minute made-for-TV movies with Jim Carrey, who, despite trying so hard to break the slapstick comedy mold, can’t dispel the image and mannerisms of a plastic-faced funnyman. No matter the movie, I still see Ace Ventura. That works in a movie like “Bruce Almighty” or “Liar, Liar,” but not a dark “thriller.”

“The Number 23” is a nondescript book given to Walter Sparrow (Jim Carrey) from his wife, Agatha (Virginia Madsen), as a birthday present. It seems Walter isn’t much of a book fan, as he admits to Agatha that he’d much rather wait until the movie comes out. But in his ho-hum job as an animal control officer, Walter soon finds himself engrossed with the contents of the book. In fact, the draw isn’t so much the number 23 as it is the narrator has so much in common with Walter. Soon, Walter can’t put the book down and his obsession with the number 23 starts.

Of course, Agatha comforts Walter and tells him its all just happenstance, even after Walter explains that he’s had nightmares wherein he murders her. I don’t know about you, but if my wife told me she had dreams where she stabbed me with a butcher knife, I’d be pulling out the hide-a-bed in world record time. However, this being Hollywood, Agatha shrugs it off and all is well.

Walter tries in vain to get the book and his 23 fixation out of his blood, but to no avail. He begins to search for the book’s author, looking for clues and codes to point him in the right direction. If I go into any more detail, I’ll completely spoil the plot that, by now, you’ve probably already figured out for yourself. That seems to be the case with one-star films. Nevertheless, what Walter finds isn’t surprising by any stretch of the imagination and is definitely not thrilling or frightening. Clever, yes. Goosebump-inducing, no.

In the final analysis, I checked my watch 23 times in this movie, yawned 23 times, wished there were more than 23 Swedish Fish in the box of candy I was eating and wished my Diet Coke was 32 ounces rather than 23. I also prayed the last of my 23 brain cells wouldn’t be depleted by this wannabe thriller. Save the $6.50 + $6.50 + $10 (Yikes! 23!) you’d spend at the theater this weekend and wait for DVD.